Monday, December 22, 2014

Drum roll please....

Get ready for everything pink, lacy, and hand picked for a perfect little girl! 
We are so excited! 

(Now if I can only convince Matt that we don't have to buy everything
for her right now...) 

The Lish Ladies and Matt

Monday, December 15, 2014

One year later


I know I told you my next post would be the gender reveal, but my heart and mind were too full of these thoughts today not to write.

Almost exactly one year ago I sat in the surgical waiting area at UVRMC while Matt underwent surgery to remove one foot of his intestines. The surgery wasn't complicated. We had a surgeon we trusted and I had enough knowledge from Nursing school to know what was expected. But I was terrified. I brought Matt's laptop thinking I would be able to keep my mind off of what was going on by scrolling through Facebook, and maybe even blogging (man, I was ambitious back then), but it turns out WIFI at the hospital is terrible and I only got a few solid minutes of distraction before my impatience set in.

My skinny mini husband before surgery.
He weighed 140 pounds. He'll probably
kill me for posting this picture... oops.
Matt and I had been talking about having a baby for a while at that point. When we were dating we had decided to wait a year to "figure this marriage thing out" before we would seriously discuss expanding our family. Matt isn't very good at following my plans! It wasn't very long after we said "I do," that he brought up having a baby. Imagine my shock! We already knew at that point that his Crohn's disease wasn't cooperating with, once again, my plans for a healthy husband, and all Matt could think about was bringing a little bundle of joy into the world. I told him no. There was NO way I was going to raise a baby and take care of a sick husband while working forty hour weeks at a job I wasn't thrilled with. That was that.

Well, that was that for at least a month or so. Every time we saw someone with a new baby he would make a little comment about how much he wanted to be a dad. I wasn't interested. This went on for a long time, and it had only been after we decided Matt needed surgery that I relented my stubborn attitude and decided we could start thinking about babies.

As I sat in that waiting room I couldn't help but think about our maybe baby. I wanted my babies to have a dad that could play catch with them in the backyard and take them to the store for ice cream as long as they didn't tell Mom. I imagined babies with dark, curly, eyelashes like Matt framing big brown eyes like me. As the hours ticked on, my nerves started getting the best of me. He was supposed to be out of surgery by now!

The family sitting behind me had come in around the same time as me and whispered anxiously over those three hours we waited. I admittedly eavesdropped when their surgeon came in and asked them to go to a private room so they could talk. That didn't sound good. I knew it wasn't good. They knew it wasn't good, and the women didn't make it out of the waiting room before their crying filled the silent air. The next hour consisted of family and friends showing up with tissues wadded tightly in their hands and hugs being offered to the sobbing woman I assumed was the wife. She had a brand new baby in her arms. When Matt's surgeon finally came to me, hours past when I expected him, I gulped back concern.

But everything was okay. The surgery took longer than expected because they didn't realize fully how scarred Matt's intestines were. He was in recovery now and they were trying to wake him up and get his pain under control before they moved him to his room. An hour later the PACU nurse came and told me his pain was still uncontrolled but there was nothing more they could do so they were moving him to his room anyway. I forgot about that family I had shared the waiting room with. I was so ecstatic that my husband was okay, I didn't think again about the sobbing wife and child that would be raised without a father.

After Matt had returned home and the dust had settled around us I heard stories about a young man that had passed away in the hospital shortly before Christmas. I remembered that family from the hospital. I poured over articles about the woman who had lost her husband just days after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was a BYU student. Just like Matt. He had a bright future ahead. Just like Matt. And, just like Matt, he had been in surgery that day.

My heart goes out to that man's family, to the son that will never get to know his dad, and his wife who doesn't have a hand to hold in the car and a warm body to put her cold toes against at night. That's my greatest fear. Right now, I have a baby that dances inside of me when I play music and a husband that kisses me good night. Matt's healthy. Sure, he has bad days, but he's still around one year later.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

That's not a burrito, that's a baby!

TA DA! The long awaited baby bump picture has arrived! I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow so this was a day or two ago, but it's something to start with, right? 

Also, please excuse the poor phone quality and the pretty background of my front door, but hey, sometimes it's raining outside and your camera battery has to charge so you just do what you have to do.

Until next time (when I post the gender!!!) 

Cami, Matt, and Baby 

Monday, November 17, 2014

Orange you glad...

Super lame joke, I know, but Baby Lish is the size of an orange this week and I just couldn't resist!

Here are some exciting (and not exciting) things about this week:

> On Thursday we find out the gender. Okay, this one deserves about a million exclamation points!!! WE'RE FINDING OUT THE GENDER!!!!! Holy smokes.

> I'm mostly not sick anymore. I have to be super careful about what I eat still because the acid monster inside of me insists on throwing mad crazy fits if I eat anything he disagrees with.

> Zits. Kill me know.

> I have the body of a grandma and everything feels like it's falling apart. So help me, I might need a hip replacement by the end of this.

> I have a bump and a husband that won't talk about anything but baby. This is gettin' serious. (Imagine that being said with some kind of southern/country drawl, or whatever fits your fancy). 

Here's to finding out the gender and the start of shopping for everything baby!!

Love, M+C+baby

Friday, November 14, 2014

One of those "OH MY HECK, I'm pregnant" moments

The bump has arrived. 

Saturday night as I lay in bed I put my hand on my tummy and wouldn't you know it- there was a real live, this-isn't-just-cheesecake baby bump there! 

Matt was, of course, passed out next to me and un-arousable (is that a word), so I got to celebrate this big moment all by myself. Don't worry, he's gotten his fair share of baby bump time. And I mean that in the least creepy, weirdo way possible.

And, yes, I am one of those obnoxious people that will ask you if you want to feel it. Can you blame a girl for being excited?! 

*pictures to come*




Much love from baby and me. Oh, and that cute guy in the hat ^^^

Monday, November 10, 2014

When life gives you lemons... must be 14 weeks along!


Hopefully by now most of you have heard our exciting news! Matt and I CANNOT wait to be parents.

I found out late August that I was expecting and cue the extended hiatus from blogging! It turns out growing a baby is hard work! The first trimester was full of early bed times and back to back episodes of Gilmore Girls.

I was obviously lots of fun to be around. Thank goodness for second trimesters and goldfish crackers to get me through the day!

Cami + Matt + baby

Monday, July 21, 2014

About Dogs

I've wanted to post this for a long time, but haven't due to sheer fear and the inevitable backlash.
I'm not a dog person.
That's a lie.
I love all animals. I love penguins, and giraffes, and bunnies and bears and deer and fox especially. But, what I really love is cats.
I have my reasons and they would all sound insignificant and almost insane to write about on a blog.
I even love dogs, but mostly just the big ones that you can play catch with in the park and knock you over when you're little because they love you so darn much they must lick your face every time they see you. I like those kinds of dogs.
So, when a little yappy thing nearly took a chunk out of my leg last month I really wasn't surprised.
It must have known I was a cat person.

The end.

Love, Cami

Friday, July 18, 2014

Buffalo Bill and Me

Howdy, friends!  (That was my attempt to sound really American.) 

While many of you are getting ready for RED HOT Friday night plans, I'm watching Matt do homework and making a deLISHes dinner! Sometimes I'm a good wife. Well, actually, it's a brand new recipe so we'll so how good it ends up tasting. 
Anywho, I thought that while I let the onions simmer and the fish bake, I would catch everyone up on the adventure our Fourth of July vacation turned out to be. (Please bless dinner NOT to burn while I'm writing this!) 

Matt's mom is from the teeny, tiny town of Cody, Wyoming. Population 9520. Okay, so I guess it's not really a teeny, tiny town, but it IS an adorable tourist spot. For those of you who don't know, Cody was named about the one and only Buffalo Bill Cody. That's right! Buffalo Bill of Buffalo Bill's Wild West! Please tell me someone else knows what that is! 

Well, we got to drive through Yellowstone on the way up there and I could have died right then and there and been happy. I'm one of those people that get's emotional and existential about nature.
"Who am I?" 
"What is my purpose in this life?" 
"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?" 
Matt has learned quickly to hand me a box of tissues and continue driving. Despite my runny eyes, I managed to take some BEAUTIFUL pictures. I have never been all the way through the park. Did you know there's a lake in Yellowstone? It's not even a small lake. I mean this thing is HUGE and delicious to look at. I'll prove it. 

Do you see that? MMM... I'm obsessed. 

Here's a picture of my face and the lake. 

See, I really like nature.

Friday morning we woke up early and went to the parade. You can't beat the festivities of an All-American Town. 

We are never on the same track when taking pictures. He pulls a face, so I pull a face, but he isn't pulling a face anymore. It's a trial. 

We finished the day by hugging Polar Bears and doing attractive things in front of a teepee.

I love America. 


P.S. >>>>
What did you do for Independence day? I probably should have taken some pictures of fireworks or something, but instead I spilled orange Popsicle on my white shorts and had to wear my ugly jean ones for the rest of the day. "George just lucky I guess."


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Carnivals, Conferences, and Hot 'N Juicy Crawfish

Wow, welcome back everyone! Sorry I've been MIA for so long. Let me start out by apologizing for the poor picture quality. Iphones sure are cute, but not always the best for photography.

The past few weeks for Matt and I have been CRAZY!

Mid-June meant the Strawberry Days Festival in my hometown. Let's just say there were lots of strawberries and cream, carnival rides (that we watched but did not participate in. Getting old is rough) and catching up with old friends. Call me a bad Pleasant Grove-ian, but I've actually never been to the carnival before. My mom has this thing about crowds and over-priced goodies. Now I know where she was coming from!

This is the ONE and ONLY picture I got from Strawberry Days. I'm kind of a lame face, obviously, and the colors were all way off so that's why it's not in color. If you use your imagination you just might see the Ferris Wheel in the background! 

The end of June took us to our old stomping ground- the big LV. Matt had a work conference down there that I got to help out with... for a small price of course--> 
*spear* means spare. Words are hard.

You read that right, my beautiful people! Matt promised to get me a kitty when we get a house. You'll be happy to know that I did hold up my end of the deal and didn't complain or say mean things about myself. You also should know that the asterisk in the text was connected to "Sentence may change with circumstance." That kid. I swear. He's hilarious. 

The conference actually ended up being a blast. Not like a surprise-we-get-Disneyland-all-to-ourselves-and-all-of-the-food-is-free kind of blast, more like a this-is-new-exciting-and-slightly-terrifying kind of blast. But, hey, a blast is a blast, right? 

They are such goofs. 
After the conference the BMOC (big man on campus) took all of the staff to a little restaurant in Vegas called Hot 'N Juicy Crawfish. Imagine no utensils, plastic bags full of steaming hot POUNDS of seafood, and smelling like Cajun for at least two weeks and you get the picture. It's an experience to be had, that's for sure. 

Okay, so let's hear it! What have you guys been up to? Am I the only one that can't do carnival rides anymore? I get nauseous just thinking about them. There was that one ride that has you stand around the outside and the force of gravity sucks you against the wall so you won't fall out. That just looks like an accident waiting to happen! 

Any fun, crazy adventures this summer? After all, isn't that what summer is for? 

Love, Cami

SPOILER- Matt and I have been up to something very exciting, but you'll just have to check in later for more details on that!

Friday, June 6, 2014

The [wonderful] world of couple dating

As a singleton, I thought dating was rough.
What to wear,
what to say,
how to act?!
It was SO much unnecessary pressure.

I thought all of that nonsense would disappear once I got married. I mean, this man has seen me at my worst and had to deal with my dragon breath every morning. What could be worse than that? I mean seriously, I could light a match with how fiery my breath is, even when I floss before bed. What's up with that?

Anyway, there's this weird thing that happens when you get married called "making friends". Finding a couple that both people like is way trickier than you would imagine. At least when you're a singleton it's just about you and him (or her). Now, it's about him and him and her and her and him and her and her and him. HELLO! Talk about a rough ride sometimes. Matt and I have gone on quite a few... interesting... couple dates. Sometimes four people just don't quite mesh and there's nothing wrong with that at all, heck, if it was easy it would be called be easy-ing! Sorry, that was a lame joke. I guess what all of this madness is leading into is a few of the categories of couples I've heard about and occasionally experienced.

+ The "Inside Joke" Couple: We don't actually have any idea what you're talking about. None. At all. So, no that isn't funny to us.

A trip to the dentist makes all the difference (24 pics) - awkward_smile

+ The "We Fight in Public" Couple: I'm just going to sit over here and look at the wall...

MRW Im eating dinner with my girlfriends parents for the first time and her dad tells me about his gun collection

+ The "Newlywed" Couple: Because who doesn't love to watch public fondling?

gag gif

+ The "How Did You Two End Up Together" Couple: Need I say more?

And then there are those couples that you just *click* with.

You know who you are.


P.S. This was not intended to hurt or offend. I'm just trying to be funny. For my documented struggle to be a comedian, please read here.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Playing Pretend

Hey guys,

My world has been shattered. I've been trying to keep this to myself, but cannot any longer. Flattery and words of encouragement would be appreciated. (overdramatic much?)

A few weeks ago Matt and I got to hang out with mah gurls from high school and their respective beaus. Talk about a good time! I was in the zone, ya know? I was cracking the jokes and coming up with witty anecdotes and, really, just pleasing the crowd.
Watch out world, here comes Cami!
And everyone was eating it up!
Well, everyone except for that stinky husband of mine. He was shutting my down hardcore. No gut-wrenching cackles from him, instead, he sat with a smug smile on that little handsome face of his. Fun. Hater.

As we were driving home I told him that stealing my thunder is NOT ALLOWED. No raining on this girl's entertaining parade. None of this, "I never said that" or "that's not how it happened" business. I was the storyteller and therefore am allowed the right to embellish things as I please, right? Wrong, apparently.

Our conversation went a little like this:
"Babe, you can't be shuttin' me down in front of my friends like that! You have to at least pretend that you think I'm funny like [insert reference of one of my friends and her boyfriend]."

His reply:
"I do think you're funny. He's just trying to marry her."

Well, I guess that clears things up then. Boys only think girls are funny until that ring is on their finger.
So much for my moonlighting gig as a stand up

Soberly yours,

P.S. Don't let this story fool you. Matt really does think I'm hilarious at least 92% of the time. I mean, who am I kidding, I'm pretty much Billy Crystal in a dress! 

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Days off and days in

Thursdays are my saving grace. Even during weeks where the doctor is out of the country and I've spent nine hours at a time catching up on unfinished work, I look forward to this.

  • Watching Gilmore Girls episodes I've already seen a million times. 
  • Explaining what's happening in said Gilmore Girls episodes to Matt... for the millionth time. 
  • Making pancakes for a late breakfast 
  • Taking showers that last longer than 7 minutes
  • Not wearing real clothing until the last possible moment 
  • blawging 
  • Realizing it's nearly 1:00 and I've cleaned the kitchen, showered, made and devoured breakfast, watched three episodes of Suits and Gilmore Girls, thought about doing laundry, and communicated with three of my best friends. 

I think Thursdays are my favorite.

If only there were little birds and wild animals to help me get ready... 

Love, Cami

P.S. Am I the only one that has a day of the week that they just love? 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Cranky pants

Last week was hard. I cried at work. That's right, tears, runny nose, shaky voice- the whole freaking package. at work. in front of my boss. on a Tuesday. Because of some meany head cranky pants guy. It seems so stupid looking back on it even just a week later, but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about it. 

It just makes me sad, ya know. Here we are, all players in the game of life and we can't even treat our fellow humans with respect. Life is hard enough with having people tear you down.

I'm sorry that you had to wait for forty five minutes in the waiting room on our busiest day. I'm sorry the pharmacy didn't have your prescription even though I sent it hours before. I apologize that insurance companies require me to get your weight even though we are seeing you for your ears. I'm doing the best that I can.

We're all doing the. best. that. we. can.

There's a quote everyone knows that goes a little something like this:

be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

Okay, so that was the exact quote. Whatever. The point is I don't think anyone ever has an excuse to be blatantly rude to another human. Listen. We all have trials. We all have insecurities and vulnerabilities and no one deserves to have their spirit broken by an unkind word. No one is better than anyone else. We are all just human. We are all flawed! Be considerate of others feelings for goodness sakes! 

Life is hard and it's unfair and things aren't going to go your way pretty much ever. That's life. But you know what, we're here to help one another. We're hear to love one another. 

Phew. Tangent over. 

Love, Cami

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thursday Things

Thursdays are going to be my "things" day.
Things I love.
Things I hate.
Things I want to eat, or wear, or try.
Things that make me happy,
or things that I'm listening to or watching.

Today I want to share some things that I wish would last forever:
  • Late night back tickles while Matt catches up on Twitter and I try to fall asleep
  • Boy Meets World marathons
  • Homemade chocolate chip banana bread

  • Sunny days in May
  • Thursdays off of work
  • Little faces 

  • Freshly shaven legs
  • A fast metabolism
  • Spring tans- especially this one. I worked hard for this tan!

What do you wish would last forever?

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Wednesday Words

We're going on three days in a row! Happy, happy day! Speaking of things that are happy, today's post is dedicated to quotes, phrases, etc. that I love. Some of them are fun, some of them are inspirational, heck some of them are going to be from movies that I love. I'll try to switch it up. 

Today's words are.... (drum roll please)....


How perfect is that? I first found this quote while we were living in Vegas and posted it on the whiteboard of course so that everyone could relish in its genius! Unfortunately, it didn't go over so great due to the fact half of the girls I worked with were on diets. My bad. Putting that aside, I love it! Raise your hand if sometimes you act like a miserable cow and you end up have an equally miserable day! I know I have, probably more than I should. Let's go out tomorrow and make Thursday just awesome! 

Love, Cami 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Grati-Tuesday- Beach Edition

 I did it! I really posted today like I semi-promised! Well, kids, miracles do happen!

To start off, I just want to say that I have been blessed with two awesome families- Matt's and mine! I'm especially blessed that we're both the favorite children! Right, Mom? Anyway Matt's family spoiled us a few weeks ago by getting a beach house in Newport, CA and inviting us to spend a few days soaking up the sand, sun, and ocean water. Growing up in Utah I didn't do the beach thing very often and to put things lightly, the ocean and I don't get along. As in, the ocean likes to pull off my swimsuit and batter my half-nude body with seaweed brimming waves. NBD. People love seeing naked people being murdered by nonliving things. Oh wait, nope. No one likes that. Fortunately for me, I have come to terms with our feud and chose not to go exploring aquatic ventures. Instead, the sun fried the crap out of me on the sand. We're fighting now, too. (There will be no pictures of the sunburn. It was that bad!)

Really, though, it was so amazing to get away for a few days and not have to worry about real life for a second. I'm so grateful for new experiences with new family. Lindsey birthed the most adorable little guy in the whole world and it was so fun to cuddle his little face off and then give him back when he was poopy. Not being parents yet definitely has it's perks! And, having great family absolutely does!

Happy Tuesday, everyone! 
Tune in tomorrow to see what deLISHes things I have planned!


Monday, April 28, 2014

About Me Monday

In a wild effort to be better at this blogging thing I've decided to try to theme my posts. Mondays will be about me. My likes, dislikes, joys, triumphs, and personal adventures. Tuesdays will be Grati-tuesdays! Do you get it? It's like gratitude, except with Tuesday! I'm pretty freaking excited. I'm still debating about what to do for some of the other days, so you'll have to check back everyday to see what surprise post is in store!

As for today,

My name is Camille, but my friends call me Cami. Or Cam, or Cam Cam or Cam Bam or Carmen or... well, let's just say I've acquired a few (mostly random) nicknames over the course of my short life. My first day of the nursing program we were supposed to stand and say something memorable about ourselves and a way to remember our names. I said, "My name is Camille or Cami, it depends on the day!" I wasn't lying. I was just scratching the surface.

I love to be silly, but more than anything else I love to laugh. Always. At everything. My humor is somewhere between a 12 year old boy and a 4 year old human. I'm like, "Oo look, he burped! hahahaha!" and everyone is standing there like, "Get this girl some help." It's really not even funny how funny I think everything is and I can't not laugh! That's my Cami. Fun, bright, happy.

I'm also this crazy deep thinker. My mind is always running at 40 million miles an hour! I think that's the "Camille" side of me. A Camille sounds like someone that's refined and well versed doesn't she?
Let me give you a little "for example" here.

I devour books! When I was a little girl my mom used to ground me from reading. Other kids got their gameboys and Tamigatchis taken away, but not me. My mom would take away my books! I used to hide in the bathroom to read because it was the only door in the house with a lock on it. I think all of those words churned my soul to wonder! I wanted to know about life: cats and dogs, and trees, and why leaves were green and petals were pink and would you get wetter running or walking in the rain? Today I wonder about the enigmas of the world. Questions like "what is passion" and "how do you achieve contentment" fill my mind. I have sticky notes and notebook pages full of questions I don't know that I'll ever have the answers to. I just wonder.

I'm not really sure how to end this post. Do I say something witty that will make you pine (said in an obnoxious British accent*) for more? Do I end on a serious note about how everyone is different and amazing just the way they are? Maybe I should say something about how we are all kaleidoscopes of emotion and thought and personality.
I guess I'm just going to say goodnight and leave you with one of my favorite Dr. Suess quotes because, heck, who doesn't love a little Dr. S, ammi right?

Goodnight all of you beautiful people! May tomorrow be full of rainbows and butterflies, or at least a Butterfinger.

Love, Cami

*Not because British people or their accents are obnoxious, but because that's just how I imagine it being said in my mind. That is all.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Birthday Smirthday

Hello friends!
This blog has officially come full circle! Just over a year ago I started this thing and shortly thereafter celebrated Matty's 22nd birthday! Yesterday he turned the big 2-3. I can't believe it! Remember how old 23 seemed when you were little? 
If you don't know let me just warn you, I am OBSESSED with celebrations- birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, good grades in hard classes, weddings, engagements, the list goes on and on AND ON! I love a reason to dress up, throw some confetti, and maybe have a party or two. Yesterday was no different. 
I started the day early by setting my alarm for twelve o'clock midnight! The celebrating has to start the earliest moment it can, right? Unfortunately, I set it for twelve o'clock pm instead of am so I woke up at 4:30 and realized I had missed it! I'd missed the first moments of his 23rd birthday. He was sleeping like a baby, though, so I just rolled over and went back to sleep. It seemed a little bit ridiculous to wake him up if it wasn't midnight! 
When my alarm actually went off for me to go to work and Matt to go to class I made a bolt for the living room when he jumped in the shower! It was time to decorate! I wish I would have gotten more pictures, but I had to run to work before I could capture any. The Google Fiber people had made a mess of our apartment the day before anyway and weren't finished, so the pictures would have been a disaster zone. I'm trying not to be too torn up over it! I managed to string a HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner and strands of streamers around the house before he got out of the shower. Talk about pressure! Boys showers do not last as long as you think they would! 
The rest of the day was spent at work and at school. Matt had a test and OWNED it! I think he's more excited about that than anything else I put together! I had told him that I had a surprise for him that night. I'm also obsessed with surprises! His best friend Joe was treating us to the Jazz game! 

I have been to more Jazz games in the past four months than in my whole life. Seriously. I had never been before January and now I've been to three! That was totally off topic, but anyway, we ate popcorn and cheered despite their indisputable loss and went to In 'N Out for shakes to end the night. The biggest birthday surprise, though, is that I'm taking him to see a Cirque Du Soleil show the end of June! This Vegas boy has never been and I've always wanted to go, so I decided to make it happen while it's still on our to-do list. 
Here's to a year full of many more blog posts, surprises, and fun times with friends!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Middle

A few weeks(ish) ago I wrote a post about making changes in my life, about taking things into my own two hands and chasing dreams. Well, bad news, I still don't have a dream to chase and I need to real for a second.

Life is hard.

When I was little all I wanted was to be sixteen. I couldn't wait to drive around town with all my friends and go on a million dates and be "independent." Then I turned sixteen. Talk about a major disappointment. So, I thought up a new dream. This dream involved me going off to college, pulling all nighters, kissing all the boys and spending years figuring things out before I had to really start acting like an adult. I couldn't wait for that "freedom."

Are you sensing a theme here?

Well, it turns out college wasn't like that for me at all. My first two semesters were dedicated to getting the prerequisites I needed to transfer to USU and get accepted into their Dietetics program. Obviously there was a change of plans. Now, here I am, a twenty one year old Registered Nurse with a full time career, an incredible husband, and a fully paid off car. I'm in what I like to call "the Middle."

The Middle is this cozy little place where you are in between two realities. Yes, I have a full time career but Matt's a full time student. We have bills to pay and doctors appointments to make, but those doctors appointments are partially paid for by our parents insurance (the good thing about Obamacare) and I have to go to my parents to do our laundry. I feel like there is so much to get figured out, so many decisions that have to be made in the next half a second but not just yet. I hate that. I hate that in between feeling! I'm a terrible wait-er

It's real problem and the worst part of it is that I'm unhappy. I'm anxious. I get stressed when I know I shouldn't. I'm no good at not being in control every second of every day. Call it OCD, anxiety, being a woman, whatever, what it really is is frustrating!

I need to learn to live in the moment, to live in "the Middle".  You know, maybe it's not so bad right here after all. I have this amazing guy that sings to me almost every night (don't tell him I told you) in his best Southern twang. I have a job with awesome benefits even if it does stress me to the max. I'm surrounded by incredible woman with inspiring stories and fantastic hair! I have family that supports and loves us and nieces and nephews that give hugs and kisses and draw pictures for us on Sundays.

I don't know if it gets any better than that.

Even in the Middle.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

I've been pouting

Hello you beautiful people!

Sorry for the delay in posting.
I've been off pouting, partly because I can, but mostly because it's easier to pout than it is to write.
But now I'm writing.
I spruced things up around here a few weeks ago if you haven't noticed. I'm trying to add a bit of flair, because who couldn't use a bit more flair in their lives? I also want there to be this great modern/contemporary feel to it. I'm really not very good with photoshop and it took me all day to make this not so fancy schpancy header, so for half a second it's going to stay.
I also deleted the "join this site" and, you guys, I am devastated! 
I've said before that I try too hard to get people to follow this blog because it makes me feel like, pretty awesome about myself, and now you can't unless you want email or Google Plus notifications. Talk about lame! I'm feeling seriously ticked to the max and I have read a million and half forums about how to fix it with no luck. So, faithful readers, if you are much more technological skilled than I am and have some ideas about how to get the "join this site gadget" back I would love you forever and a day! And, I might even stop pouting (and start structuring actual sentences).


P.S. I just realized I accomplished nothing in this post. Mah bad.

Monday, March 17, 2014

One Year Later

Oh my gosh, you guys, I've officially been married a year! I can't believe it. I keep telling everyone that it feels like forever and yet it feels like it was just yesterday that I looked into his big hazel-y eyes and promised myself to him for eternity. Cheesy much? The past year has been difficult to say the least. I married this incredible human and then, before I could blink, I was in a new world where he was sick, I had no friends and we both were just trying to figure out how to be married. It was hard. I remember so many nights where I would stay awake late into the night listening to him breath just because I could. Except for in my career I had never dealt with illness. Despite random broken limbs and the occasional cold and flu, I have always been pretty dang healthy. Matt's just about the opposite. I wasn't prepared for weekly doctor's appointments and the prospects of a major surgery. I didn't "sign up" for that.
You know, it's impossible to know how much you really love someone until you realize you might lose them forever. No, Matt was never on his death bed, but only having him for a short time on this earth became a real possibility in those first few months. He was losing weight like crazy, and you better believe I was finding it. We tried every medication we could get our hands on, but nothing was working. He was in pain and exhausted all the time which drastically limited our options for date night. We watched a lot of movies and had too many Netflix marathons to count. I cried all the time. I mean, all the time. That poor boy probably that I had some serious mental issues! But, it was just hard. It was scary and weird and just the worst!
Now, I know I sound like a total whiner, but I had to explain everything that was going on so you would understand how far we've come. We can go on hikes together now! We can eat pizza without Matt wanting to die. Do you understand what an accomplishment that is? I'm over here getting emotional because my freaking husband can eat a crappy hamburger and fries and not spend the rest of the night in the fetal position! It's pretty awesome.
Through the thick and thin (lots of thin, sparce thick), Matt and I have become solid. He has become incredible patient with me, especially when I cry after watching Blackfish or make him take me to the pet store to hold kittens. I've learned that I can't control everything. Guess what, we don't actually have any control over anything  in life (except our attitudes, right mom?) and we have to learn to take each day as it comes and be grateful for the little things. I'm grateful that I have a husband that can play basketball with his friends.
I'm grateful for a husband that surprised me with a trip to Zion National Park this weekend because he knows how much I've been wanting to go, but mostly because he knows how much I love surprises.

I'm grateful for my tiny apartment that doesn't fit hardly any of our stuff and always appears cluttered because it means that I have been blessed with more than I need and I only ever have 10 square feet to vacuum.

I'm grateful for a man in my life that puts up with my selfies, even though he doesn't always smile.

I'm grateful that Matt picked out all of my outfits this weekend and I actually looked great! Talk about an impressive feat.

You know, I'd say I lucked out by getting the guy I did. This past year hasn't been an easy one, but every moment has been worth it. Here's to a million more moments like this.

Rambling of a Sleep Deprived Mind

I cut my hair off a while ago. I've meant to post about it some many times. I've started and restarted the post, sometimes with a joke, sometimes with a serious sentiment, sometimes with no words at all. I couldn't find a way to express the journey of my hair. 
I've had it all- the pixie, the Mom, the emo, the super short to (kind of) super long and everything in between. The one thing I hadn't tried was the "long bob." I was looking for a change. I had a "new" healthy husband, I lived in a new town, with a new job and a new apartment. I needed a new me. 

Coco Chanel, bless her soul, once said, 
I hope that's true. I hope this is the beginning of a new life. I don't know what a want. I don't have a dream to chase right now, but I know that somewhere out there is something bigger than myself to grab hold of and you can bet I'm going to find it, but mostly just because I cut my hair! 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Life of a "Sugar Momma"

HEELLLLOOOO!! Can you believe I'm blogging for the second time in a week! Woot, woot! Watch out world, I'm on a roll!
Life has been a blast the past month. As you know, we moved to Utah so Matt could go to BYU and after a few crazy nights we found an adorable, TINY, but completely cozy apartment close to school. We got all moved in and the semester started which meant it was time for me to face the facts and get a freaking job. You know, they tell you a lie when you are in high school/college and trying to figure out what career path to follow. Everyone says, "Be a nurse! You'll always be able to get a job as a nurse!" False. That is so so false! I can't tell you how many nurses I have talked to that have had to search for jobs for months before they found something satisfactory! I know that it's mostly because I'm still considered a new grad, having only worked as an RN full-time for about 10 months, and every single lady and their cat has their nursing degrees in Utah. Nevertheless, (HA! I love using that word) I thought it would be easier finding a job this time around. When I moved to Vegas I applied to over 40 hospital positions with NO luck. It's so frustrating. Here I had a perfectly good license but no one wanted to hire because "I lacked experience." Well, how the crap am I supposed to get experience if no one will hire me? Talk about a Catch 22. Anyway, I lucked out thanks to a kind man that I went to church with and got my awesome job at the women's clinic down there.
Then we moved.
Game over.
So, here I was, anxious to get a job just about anywhere and coming up with a big fat zero. There is nothing more devastating for your self esteem than not being able to get a job. I felt like a loser. I felt like I wasn't trying hard enough, but I didn't know what else to do. I was tired of everyone asking, "So, have you found a job yet?" Yes, I have actually, it just turns out that they don't want to hire me!
I pinned a lot of inspired quotes on Pinterest during that time.
But, I also started doing a lot of soul searching. I started to be religious about studying my scriptures every day. I prayed morning and night. I was doing all of the "little stuff." I told myself, "Cami, you have to do everything in your power to allow God to bless you!" So, I did. Then, guess what happened. I got a call for an interview! I was so excited! And then they called and told me the spot had been filled.
Fantastic. I decided to go back to bed and then I got another call. It was for ANOTHER interview! Imagine my relief. I'll save you some of the more menial details and just tell you that I got the job! I'm a real nurse again! So, now my life is full of early mornings and overused hand sanitizer. I'm working for Peak ENT for this amazing doctor. The company pays for my lunch, my scrubs, and my health insurance! I really am so blessed to be working for and with such incredible people!

Oh, and BTW, I chopped off my hair.