Monday, January 25, 2016

Dreaming Dreams

As a vivacious, yet awkward (shocking, I know) 6th grader I had a dream. I was going to be a fashion designer. I could could see it perfectly- me, dressed in layers of the finest fabrics and frosted with glittering jewelry, my hair long and pulled into a tight updo, presenting my renowned designs on the runway to a celebrity-filled room. Then, when I realized I knew nothing of fashion and was still rocking 90s bangs in one perfectly curled roll that dream changed.
I was going to be an actress! Oh man, it was going to be AMAZING! I say that in all caps because that's how convinced I was that A. This dream was going to come true, B. I was going to be marry Orlando Bloom and C. I was going to win an Oscar. 
I kept that dream tucked away for a long time; longer than I like to admit. Even after I recognizing my paralyzing  fear of rejection and total lack of confidence on stage, I quietly hoped that someday I would walk the red carpet. 
Those were the days when nothing was out of reach. No dream was too outrageous, too unrealistic, too far fetched. I could do anything! I could be anyone. Now, here I am, lounging on my couch in my cat pajamas (I'm not lying) and it hits me.
I need a new dream.
12 year old Cami would be devastated if she could see me now. It's not that having day old makeup and baby food on my shirt isn't glamorous, because, I mean come on! I am KILLING this look! I have everything I didn't know I wanted. I have the silliest, sweetest baby doll little girl to pull my hair and kiss my face and a handsome, hardworking student of a husband that makes me laugh everyday (and even laughs at me sometimes)! Life is good. But what's next? What's my dream, my passion, my goal? 

Hello 2016, let's go on and adventure.