Tuesday, May 19, 2015

A Labor Story

Hello friends!

I apologize for the month long haitus, but we had some very exciting things happening at our house, obviously, and I've been taking in every second of my little one. Being a mom has been a wild ride. And in case you were wondering, we didn't get the nursery quite finished before she came! Oops! It's a good thing she's been sleeping in our bedroom so she wouldn't feel left out of the club.

I've written and re-written this post about a million times because I want to share Emi's birth story but because it is rather extensive I didn't want you to nod off before getting to the juicy stuff. Juicy stuff... yuck... probably not a great phrase to use in relation to having a baby.

Anyway, settle in for a hefty post here, and I'll try to throw in some unexpected jokes or inappropriate comments to keep it entertaining. What can I say? I do it because I love you guys.

Where to start? Where to start? I guess Thursday, the 16th, works.



4/16/15



1:30 pm- Time for my doctor's appointment. I was barely 37 weeks and had been dilated to a one the week before with 70 percent effacement. To say I was eager to see if I had progressed further wouldn't be true. I was ECSTATIC. So much in fact that when Matt told me he didn't want to come to the appointment with me I was majorly miffed! Hello, didn't he want to be there to share in the neat experience of a doctor shoving his hands into my hoo hah?! He's such a fun hater!

2:30 pm- The bad news begins. My blood pressure was 138/94 and that was the second time they took it. That's high. High like John Travolta during the 2014 Oscars. Doctor's really hate high blood pressure during pregnancy because it can lead to pre-eclampsia so I was sent to Labor and Delivery for labs, fetal monitoring and to have my blood pressure checked every five minutes. That'll teach Matt for not coming with me, right? I don't think he's ever driven as fast as he did to get there to be with me.

3:00 pm- By the time Matt arrived I was hooked up to the monitors and deep into some Spa Music Radio on Pandora. I'd have done anything to bring my pressures down! Of course, between the threat of induction and the nurse teaching me how to do a 24 hour urine sample (ew) I was not being very successful. Fast forward a few hours and I got the fatal blow. I had to be induced. (side note- I didn't have to do the urine sample. small victory).

I cried. I'm going to be honest about it. I was devastated. My coworkers were throwing a baby shower for me the next day! I didn't have a nursing bra yet! We hadn't finished her nursery! I wasn't ready. And I certainly wasn't mentally, emotionally, or physically (if you know what I mean) prepared to have the baby.

4/17/15



9:00 am- After a restless night including Matt finishing what he could of the nursery and a couple of long, hot showers for me, we grabbed our hospital bags and headed to the OBGYN. They wanted to check my blood pressure again and do an ultrasound.

10:08 am- "The baby is measuring 35 weeks, 5 pounds 10 ounces, in the 11th percentile for weight." BAM. My baby had stopped growing at 35 weeks. I was going to have a "late preterm baby" that was "small for gestational age." Emiline was "tiny." That last one wasn't a medical term, but it was true. My baby was a peanut, a shrimp, a teeny weeny little thing likely to end up in the NICU. This was so not part of my plan.

11:56 am- Pitocin was started. Now, there's this really fun thing doctors sometimes do for an induction if you aren't very dilated called a cervical balloon. Don't be deceived by my smile. It was actually H-E-double hockey sticks. Imagine the worse cramps of your life and magnify that by 400. FOUR HUNDRED! Sorry, I just really need you to pity my poor soul. 

Between 3:00 and 4:00 pm- I was trying to stick it to the man and not get the epidural until I absolutely needed it but the actual devil himself was in my belly! My saving grace was otter pops, 80s music, and of course that dang epidural.

CONFESSION- 
I'm secretly crunchy and had been practicing meditation
and relaxation techniques for weeks in preparation for a natural labor.
Curse you high blood pressure. I will never get the chance now because epidurals are HEAVENLY. There's no going back. 

8:17 pm- Time for more magic juice. I developed this pain in my left cheek and I don't mean on my face. It felt like siatica or like when you sit on the floor for too long and your bum falls asleep except it was only a small portion. The anesthesiologist gave me a super dose because I was only dilated to a five and they didn't expect me to have the baby any time soon. Having complete loss of sensation led to some hilarious times. I'll explain more in a later post. You won't want to miss it *wink wink*. 


9:30 pm- I decided to take a little nap since everyone told me I wouldn't be having the baby for hours. Rumor has it, "It takes 60-90 minutes to dilate one centimeter once you reach a five." Well, that is a dang lie! Okay, not really, but it sure was for me! 

9:51 pm- I woke up to the pain of contractions- not the unearthly, would rather have a needle in my eye pain I had from the cervical balloon, but there was definitely something going on. I've heard contractions described as "pressure" by those who've had epidurals before, but that's not really what it was like for me. I didn't feel the need to push, I didn't have the "I need to go to the bathroom" sensation either, it was just something. To go from not being able to feel anything to suddenly having any sort of sensation was a lot like being doused by a bucket of cold water- not painful, but enough to send a shock through your system. 


10:12 pm - The "pain" had gotten to the point where I wanted to be checked. Who knew you'd want someone stick their fingers downstairs, but dang, I'll tell you what, when you're anxious to get your baby into the world you don't care who does what or how often they do it. I'm sure that the poor lady that answered when I pressed my call light thought I was four years old. "Um... I'm in a lot of pain...". Eloquent, I know. But guess what! I was dilated to 9 and 3/4. Take that pessimists! I was going to have this baby before midnight! The nurse told me she was going to give me about 20 minutes to fully dilate and then....


IT WAS GO TIME!!! 









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